Cat got your collar?

May 16, 2015

I think I just sold my couch to a cuckoo-head.

It has actually vacated the premises (the couch and the maybe cuckoo-head) and I have a nervous pit in my stomach. If I could I’d insert those googly eyes that look to the left and right. I’m scared. I’m sad. Couch come back!

My sweet and sassy elderly next door neighbor told me she might have a buyer for my couch. When the person got here she seemed pretty normal, liked all my stuff and said she thought I was crazy to sell any of it. That felt kind of nice. Then she says, Franklin’s your cat, right? And proceeds to tell me about the time she took his (silver with the little bubbles) collar off and put it on her cat.

Um, whut?

IMG_8506Why’d you sell our couch to that lady who has all my collars? I DON’T KNOW I’M SORRY!

She thinks our cats are in love and thought it would be cute if her cat had something of Frankie’s. I was all eyes bugging out emoji, checking to make sure the path to the backdoor was clear in case I needed to make a break. The thing is, over the course of the past year, every few weeks or so Frank comes in from outside without his collar. It’s gotten so bad that I keep a freaking stash of collars on hand.

I think this lady is a collar hoarder. And now she has my couch, too.

I’d say TGIF but mostly I’m thinking WTF (have I gotten myself into)?

All I can think of is her sitting on my comfy couch with a string of Frankie’s collars strung across the room like a banner. I’d look out the window and see if her curtains are open, but I don’t think I want to know. #hideyocatshideyocollars

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  • Reply Katie May 20, 2015 at 4:04 am

    Who knew you needed to include cat collar prices with the sale of the couch?

  • Reply This Free Bird May 20, 2015 at 1:54 am

    Yep, she said she thought it would be cute. I’d be willing to bet all of his missing collars are over there and there are a lot. That said, I hope she’s sitting on the couch and not stuffing it with his collars.

  • Reply Marla May 18, 2015 at 11:34 pm

    WTF?! She took his collar off and put it on HER cat?! I bet Franklin has some stories to tell.

    So weird! I wonder what she’s doing with the couch.

  • Reply This Free Bird May 18, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    I’m embracing it and can’t wait for the new couch to show up so I can stop second guessing myself. Why is it so tough to let things go? On another note, I really want those collars back. They’re $9 a piece!

  • Reply Jen May 16, 2015 at 10:37 am

    This is hilarious! Truth is stranger than fiction. Enjoy being liberated from the sofa!

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