August 4, 2014

I realize I might catch some shit for this, but it’s what I truly think and has been on my mind a lot lately:

With the rise of (people misusing) social media, sacred things have lost their meaning.

Everything is for sale, yet nothing holds true value.

Children and their childhoods reduced to hashtags and ‘preserving memories’, yet on display for all the world to view like a cheap sideshow. When I’m out in public I shouldn’t recognize a child I’ve never met. Neither should the pedophiles.

I’ve been privy to all kinds of weddings and, worse yet, funerals on Instagram. People tagging brands worn in their funeral outfits moments before entering a service to pay last respects to a dead family member. Bathroom selfies, faces streamed with tears.

Feeds littered with private moments not meant for public consumption, yet shamelessly shoved in our faces.

Capitalizing off birth, death and every.single.moment in between and after.

Why is this hysteria, this desperate frenzy for attention being lauded and applauded as normal and something to aspire to?

It’s not.

Worse yet are those excusing the behavior as a way to make a living. A living? What about a LIFE?

Sure I can unfollow and believe me I do, but it’s still happening. Turning your face from an epidemic doesn’t erase it’s existence.

Giving away every moment of your life in piles of poorly filtered photographs to people you don’t know leaves you with nothing. YOU are all you have. Someday these over-sharers are going to turn around and realize they saved nothing OF themselves (or their children) FOR themselves (or their children).

Will they even care?

*Disclaimer: this is not intended for people with private profiles sharing their lives with family and friends, or for those who mindfully and thoughtfully use social media.

You Might Also Like


  • Reply This Free Bird August 15, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    Nadia, I’m glad you commented. I like knowing how parents feel. I don’t have kids, but I do have a niece and nephew. I’d do the same as you if I did have kids and certainly wouldn’t be trying to support my household or make any sort of income off of them. I’m not sure what’s going on out there; I just feel bad for the kids. Also, I did not watch the wedding in Monaco! I had to quit that shit when Liam jumped in after Ivy after Quinn pushed him in. I cannot stand Wyatt! I hope he plummets to the bottom of the sea with Hopeless. HAHAHA! See, this is why I had to stop watching. 🙂

  • Reply Nadia August 15, 2014 at 4:32 am

    Both my husband and I have always had our Facebook accounts private, but for whatever reason our Instagrams weren’t. To be honest, we just assume no one cares, lol. We both have small followings, the vast majority being friends and family. We also aren’t utilizing social media, blogs or our boys to make $. But anyways..
    A few weeks ago, a friend of mine private messaged me via Instagram to tell me that my oldest son showed up on her “Explore” page, but it wasn’t from my feed. I freaked out! She took a screen shot of the photo and I immediately recognized it from my husband’s account. (I guess Instagram was suggesting to add him to her feed?). Right away my husband and I made our accounts private. I feel stupid for being so nonchalant about it, especially since I usually set those types of things to private.

    I can’t imagine having photos upon photos of my children out there for random people to pin or whatever it is they do with them. It’s frightening and I’m usually not in the business of judging, but I do believe the people you are speaking of are being irresponsible with their children’s privacy. We are talking about hundreds of thousands of followers, photos being pinned throughout Pinterest. To not have control over where those images go or who sees them..

    I admittedly still follow a few of those people you speak of. I’ve also deleted some as well. I’m not sure why I don’t delete them all. I wonder if it’s the same reason I watch B&B? Totally thought of you during the wedding in Monaco btw!

    Great post.

    xo N

  • Reply This Free Bird August 14, 2014 at 3:18 am

    Oh my gawd I have no words. It’s like this behavior has become some sort of new trend. The grief mongering is beyond bizarre and deplorable. In reality it’s just a ploy for attention. The whole thing is a big, fucking WTF. And yes, I just went there with the eff bomb.

  • Reply Jen August 13, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    Oh, and she’s tagging this poor dead boy’s OWN FB page in her picture posts as well. WTF.

  • Reply Jen August 13, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    So I was thinking of this post yesterday and today…one of my FB pals has a friend who lost her high-school age son unexpectedly this past week. So not the MOM of the boy (who I don’t know aside from these posts I keep seeing), but our mutual friend, keeps posting pics of her own kids with this now-deceased boy in their early childhood years (her kids grew up playing with him). She tags the boy’s mom and adds things like “Your mommy loved you soooo much, thinking of you in heaven”. I am beyond uncomfortable. I feel like she has hijacked this other woman’s personal tragedy in some way. While I can see that these pictures themselves are sentimental and will be special memories, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to put them together to give to the Mom off-line in a way that she could have them for herself/her family in private? Do the rest of us, who have no idea who these people are, need to see them all and the proclamations of how heartbroken you are for the family? Of course you are heartbroken. I would be too if I knew someone going through that. But I wouldn’t spray it all over social media and I wonder how that poor mother feels about being tagged in all the pics of her son that way. Clearly social media etiquette is a world of its own and I have not adapted in many ways…

  • Reply This Free Bird August 7, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    I wish there was a ‘like’ option on here, Lindsay.

  • Reply Lindsay G August 7, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    One reason why I left Facebook. I couldn’t stand the narcissism. A new selfie…EVERY DAY?! Have some respect for a private life!

  • Reply Faiza August 7, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    Not sure I totally agree but I love that you have an opinion.

    What people choose to share is their prerogative. Whether they do it in the supermarket line or in the comments section of a photo on social media.

    I love using social media to share what I can because most of the people I love in my life live far away and instagram or Facebook are the spaces we have in common to share. When I meet up with my cousins or groups of friends, I love that we don’t have to spend all our time playing catch up. We’re caught up and we just forge ahead making new memories. Some of the funniest things we laugh about are conversations that have taken place through comment feeds where people all over the world have been able to take part in one place.

    Like you, there are a lot of pics that bug me, I don’t like them, comment on them or share them. I don’t permit what I don’t promote.

    Just my five cents…(since we don’t have pennies anymore…)

    • Reply This Free Bird August 7, 2014 at 5:17 pm

      It sounds like what you’re referring to are people who use social media responsibly, those I mentioned in the disclaimer.

      What I’m referring to are people cashing in off tragedy whether or not its their own, people cashing in on their children dead or alive, people taking 5 to 15 pictures per day of their very young children repping clothing brands.

      I do not follow them, they are continually suggested on my feed to a point where I refuse to look at the feed.

      All due respect, but I think we’re talking about apples and oranges. I do however love that you’re not familiar with what I’m talking about (not meant to be condescending I swear) and still in a nice circle of people using responsibly. That’s what I’m trying to protect and maintain in my own circle of which you are a part! I like to see the normal stuff, the keep up stuff with my friends and family bc I don’t live close to everyone either. What I don’t like seeing are children being used for monetary gain or anything to do with funerals and their aftermath, both of which are becoming more and more common.

  • Reply This Free Bird August 4, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    It’s the neverending pictures of children who have no say in the neverending pictures that has really started to bother me. That coupled with all the hashtags for sick kids or kids who have passed away is just morbid and sick. It’s not normal ‘fundraising’ activity and Instagram has, in a lot of ways, turned into a manipulative game where people are played. Sure, people are adults and can make up their own minds, but it’s obvious that a lot of them don’t understand the extent of what’s really going on. I’m so disgusted by the behavior I see on there. And seriously, I don’t want to see a kid shamed on the toilet during potty training. I don’t want to know what brands anyone wore to the funeral. I don’t care who supplied the clothes. I mean, really. WTF. To see people capitalize off their children (or themselves) by giving away every single moment is stomach turning, truly warped. At the heart of it is, as you said, narcissism. I actually edited that word out and am regretting it. It’s extreme self-adoration that fuels the entire show.

  • Reply Jenn August 4, 2014 at 5:40 am

    You know I agree with you on this.

    Those of us who are familiar with the narcissist personality will wince at the attention grabs. We know that there may be love but the attention they receive means more to them than the people they are supposed to protect.

    The fortunate people who don’t have intimate knowledge of a narcissist can’t believe that this is true. They make excuses (it’s their support system! You shouldn’t judge how another person grieves/parents!) because it is unfathomable to them.

    I try not to judge. I really do. I love the glimpses into lives that Instagram affords. But if someone is using other people for adoration from strangers, then it’s “unfollow” for me. My rule of thumb is to think of HOW a photo is taken. If you spent a few minutes every day arranging a few pieces of clothing or your brunch or angling for a great landscape, or taking candids of the kiddos, cool. If you spend every day arranging your kids for some double taps, bye.

  • Leave a Reply